Jogja dan Kilasan Masa Lalu

Jogja selalu menjadi tempat yang begitu tua dalam benakku, sekalipun dalam benakku sekalipun tak pernah kota yang pernah menjadi ibukota negara itu setua kota-kota dimana papi dan mamiki dibesarkan. Ada sesuatu yang membuatnya unik, dan udaranya terasa berbeda ketimbang kota-kota lainnya; udaranya begitu pekat dan begitu panas, sekalipun tak sepanas Surabaya; dan kenangan yang aku miliki di dalamnya, yang tak akan tergantikan oleh apapun, bahkan oleh kenangan lainnya.

Di kota inilah aku pertama bekerja di luar kotaku sendiri, bahkan sebelum aku lulus kuliah.

Di kota inilah aku merasakan menjadi mandiri untuk pertama kalinya (dan pada awalnya, tentu saja semuanya terasa seperti mimpi buruk, namun mau bagaimana lagi....satu-dua hari kemudian segalanya terlihat lebih baik, dan jujur aku sungguh merasa sedih saat berpisah dengan Naoto di bandara, aku bahkan merasa sedih saat meninggalkan hotel bagus itu, yang lama-kelamaan terasa seperti rumah, suaka, sanctuary.

Bodoh bgt deh.

dan minggu lalu, aku mengunjungi kota itu lagi.

Perasaan yang aneh menyusupiku.

Aku tahu bahwa itu bukan kota yang sama.

Biar bagaimanapun.....

Thanks, P. You've made the city more livable. I am so certain that I will do nothing but ranting if you're not around.

What is your dream?

a quiet walk in the forest,
enjoying the wind breeze by the lake,
or simply a quiet sky-gazing on the rooftop....

taking my parents for a pleasant trip abroad....
enjoying my morning coffee without thinking about anything but thanking the universe that I am alive....
free africa (and millions of ppl in asia, including my own country!) from poverty...

and...for women to be treated as fellow human being worthy to be loved just because.

I honestly dislike the idea that a woman should be beautiful, stay home do the housework and stay gentle;

I think they deserve to be themselves in every way,
and deserve to be loved just the way they are...
coz honestly the human beings won't stand a chance if all women in the universe go on a strike to refuse the idea of having more child, or having more time on *ehm*. Heheheh.

But that, of course, depend on the woman's hand to decide. ;)

and yesterday was a day of good surprises

above all the things, Mr.R's visit made my day.
I thought he has no time.
I thought we would prefer to work from the client' site.
....and I thought he won't come.

R, do you know that you made my day?

It was such a great surprise that you came.

and even the busiest bumblebee can see
how shiny I was on that day that face show up to visit me

Neverland

Hari ini tiba-tiba teringat akan suatu hal di masa lalu, yang belum lama berselang masih menjadi pusat pikiranku, yang entah mengapa atau bagaimana terlewatkan begitu saja.

dan ya....nada suaraku pasti berubah. Bukan karena apa-apa, tapi lebih karena lebih mudah demikian. Toh di klien yang satu itu aku tidak pernah begitu

Aku pikir aku pasti membuatnya kesal, dan mukaku pasti sangat tidak enak dilihat saat ini (dan dia pasti sama sekali tidak menyangka lagu apa yang aku sumpalkan di telingaku saat ini! dan kalaupun dia tahu, sepertinya aku harus membuang jauh-jauh gambaran bahwa mereka akan berhenti menganggapku anak kecil. Sejujurnya, hidup memang lebih mudah dijalani sebagai anak kecil ketimbang orang dewasa, dan terkadang, bahkan mungkin sering, aku memanfaatkannya begitu saja ;p).

dan tahukah kau...

mungkin kebanyakan dari kita adalah kanak-kanak.

dan kita tinggal di negeri yang hati kita kenal sebagai Neverland :)

Life of meaning

I must have looked so tired. But yes, maybe I do. The air conditioner makes me sore, and there is something in the air that does not really appealing to me though the atmosphere is lighter, warmer.

I want to move.

I want to do many things and experience many things. I guess, only in doing things, one can feel that one is truly alive; and only in doing things, one that is truly alive notice that the life he/she has has meaning.

Well I hope mine too.

and today

...and today my EM got me a VENTI vanilla latte.

and two DVDs for me to watch.

:)

feb 10-12

The rain outside had stopped, but the sky isn't clear yet.

It even turned dark already by the time I write this.

The team looks very occupied, but somehow the atmosphere is warmer
...like being home.

Why is it, I wonder; as I haven't said any word, not even when I feel really hungry.

The feeling that I need nothing more. Not even food. Not even the need to say something to make me feel better (some people do say something to feel better. Normally I would feel uneasy if I say nothing...as if neglecting people, being an ignorant.)

But today...nothing. Like floating in the air.

I guess this is what "content" means.